


To Find Another Hobby

by Puella_Magica



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Almost Crack, Angst and Humor, Humor, Kaworu is low-key a magical boy, Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Humor, That's why he's called Moon Princess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puella_Magica/pseuds/Puella_Magica
Summary: Asuka criticizes Kaworu for only having one personality trait: Shinji's fucktoy. In an effort to prove her wrong, he tries to pursue a few interests outside of Shinji.





	To Find Another Hobby

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by this Tumblr post, so all credits go to her. I just decided to use it as a prompt. https://www.google.com/amp/s/rei-charles.tumblr.com/post/165992413032/the-problems-with-kawoshin-fanfiction/amp

Kaworu was sat on his bed, staring frustratedly at a piece of paper with the only words written on it being:

Interests  
\- Ikari Shinji  
\- Music (because of Shinji)

How he hated looking at those words. It was only because of that intrusive bitch too.

***

"Hey Moon Princess!"

Kaworu looked from wherever Shinji was at that point of time and turned to Asuka. He pointed a finger at himself questioningly.

"Yes! You!" Asuka said. "Are you still ogling the idiot?"

"Yes," Kaworu replied with a kind smile on his face. "He's wonderful, isn't he?"

Asuka grimaced. "Whatever. You don't have any interests besides him do you?"

"I have music."

"Other than things he introduced you too."

Kaworu became silent as Asuka snickered to herself.

***

Kaworu growled in a fit of a rage and lit the paper on fire with whatever angelic powers he had before throwing it out of window and onto an unsuspecting passerby below.

"I'll show that bitch who's got a personality!"

"Adam?" Rei said monotonously as she entered his room. "Are you okay?"

Kaworu bit his lip. Rei, or as some would call her Lilith, only called him that when she was worried about him. Kaworu slumped onto his bed. "I have no personality besides fucking Shinji."

"Did Asuka say that?"

Kaworu nodded.

Rei sighed. "I'll deal with her later. Why don't you come swimming with me? Hobbies might help you develop a personality."

Kaworu smiled and got ready to pack his things. Kaworu and Rei had a strange relationship, they were technically half-siblings, since they were in some form Adam and Lilith, but no DNA test could find any genetic linkage between them. That said, he happily took her along with Shinji under his metaphorical wing after Instrumentality, and by Instrumentality, they meant turning all of NERV and SEELE into LCL fluid. Along selling the deactivated EVAs for 100 times USA's GDP each, the three managed to live comfortably.

"We're here." Rei said.

Kaworu looked up to see a swimming center. This confusrd Kaworu, since the oceans had become clean after 'The Purge'. "This isn't the beach."

"I know. I hate the beach, so I swim here." Rei walked into the building, Kaworu following close behind her.

The two angels proceeded to enjoy themselves until Rei decided to head back to the changing rooms. As she was leaving the pool, she heard of scream of horror and turned to see at least fifty people run past her. The second the pool was empty, she knew why. Kaworu was standing, but his arms and legs had become scaly and his hands and feet were webbed. His ears had also became fins and he had somehow developed gills down his neck and torso. "I only did it so I could swim easier." Rei facepalmed.

After the swimming pool incident, Rei had shut herself in her room and refused to talk to Kaworu. He slumped onto his bed trying to think of who else he could ask. He suddenly got an idea. He ran to the kitchen, where Shinji was cooking whatever.

"Shinji-kun," Kaworu said. "Choose a colour!"

"Um..." Shinji glanced back. "Purple?"

Kaworu thought a a bit. "Purple. Purple hair. Kitsuragi-san!" He grabbed his keys before running out of their apartment, before his boyfriend could process what he was doing.

Deciding to fly instead of running like he'd originally planned, he arrived at Misato's apartment in a few minutes. She was lounging on her balcony, breasts exposed. Kaworu took out his phone and snapped a picture, before making himself known. Misato shrieked, before covering herself with her hands. "Didn't Shinji teach you not to sneak up on people?"

Kaworu shook his head. "Shinji-kun tends to like it when I suprise fuck him in the shower."

Misato grimaced before running to her room to get a top. "So what do you want?"

"I need a hobby."

Misato lit up. "Well, a friend and I are going to this karaoke place. I guess you could tag along..."

They arrived an hour later at the karaoke parlour. When they entered, the two were ushered into a room. There, Kaji was lounging in one of the chairs.

"Kaji?!" Kaworu exclaimed. "I thought y-you..."

"I did." Kaji replied. "Then Rei revived me."

Before Kaworu could retorted, Misato interrupted and suggested to him to find something to sing. He did so finding a song that he was very familiar with, 'Cruel Angel's Thesis'. 

"Good choice!" Kaji said. "I bet you have the voice of a angel!"

Kaworu silently cursed him for the joke. He started the song and got ready to sing. He opened his mouth and "ÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄ!"

The second he stopped singing, he turned around to see LCL in the place of Misato and her 'boyfriend'. He slumped against the wall and began to call Shinji.

An hour later, Kaworu was in the bed that he shared with Shinji feeling sorry for himself. He heard the door open. 

"Hey Kaworu-kun," It was Shinji. "don't worry about what happened today. Misato and Kaji are perfectly fine and are 100% solid now." Kaworu didn't answer. Shinji grinned to himself and switched to a more joking tone. "You know if you don't answer me, I'll jerk off on your face!"

Kaworu turned over and opened his mouth, letting his slightly too long tongue roll out. "Aim for my mouth."

Shinji laughed at his boyfriend's shameless libido and hugged him through the covers.

"Shinji, I'm serious. I want you to cum in my mouth."

"Wow Nagisa-kun!" Touji exclaimed. "I thought you'd never join us."

Kaworu nodded. He had somehow been dragged into this when he admitted to Shinji that he was looking for a hobby. The fact that he had been drunk on Shinji's cum didn't help. Kaworu wondered if all Lilin cum was that intoxicating. He was taken out of his thoughts when he felt something being dumped into his hands.

"That's your uniform!" Touji said. "Get changed quickly. We have practice in five minutes!"

"I won't need the uniform." Kaworu said. "Angelic Change!"

The second he said those words, he felt his AT Field flare up and he was lifted a few inches off the floor. His clothes then proceeded to deteriorate into LCL as he started to spin. Ribbons of LCL and energy merged to form his baseball uniform. The second he was done, his AT Field returned to normal. The first thing he noticed when he looked into a nearby mirror was that his pants were too tight. They showed off his 'Lance of Longinus' a bit too much. "How do I look?"

"How gives a shit about how you look?" Touji replied. "The real question is: How the fuck did you do that?"

Kaworu smiled at him. "It's called magic."

A few minutes later, he found himself on the baseball field, wielding a bat. All he had to do was hit the ball flying towards him with it. He focused all his strength as he swing his arms back, creating a gust of wind. He then threw them forward to hit the ball. The impact the angel created the second his bat touched the ball had caused it to accelerate to the point it knocked three opponents out at once. This strongly upset Kaworu.

"Damn Nagisa-kun!" Touji said as he patted him on the back. "I knew you were an angel, but fuck, those powers are superhuman! If you and Shinji have kids, he's gonna be a very happy fath-"

Kaworu growled as he snapped the bat in half and stormed off, transforming back into his school uniform in the process. He found a secluded part of the school to escape from social interaction. He sat on the wall when he heard a camera shuttering. He looked over to see Kensuke taking a picture of some insignificant plant. He must've seen him since he stopped what he was doing and came towards him.

"Hey, I saw you at the baseball field!" Kensuke said. "You were really cool."

"I have three people third degree concussions." Kaworu replied solemnly. "Sports isn't fun when people get hurt."

Kensuke thought for a bit. "What about photography? It's easy, it's safe and you can get lots of money out of it!"

"Why not? It seems angel-proof!"

"Okay cool! Let me see if I have a spare..."

"No need!" Kaworu held out his hand and summons a camera. It was white with gold accents.

"Cool! Okay now just take a picture. Try me!"

Kaworu nodded before snapping a quick picture of Kensuke. A picture came out and Kaworu gasped. Somehow, the camera must've 'photoshopped' off his clothes.

"Hey, let's see!" Kensuke said.

Kaworu held the photo to his chest. "It's n-not ready yet." He ran off to dispose of the camera and the photo.

"Hey Moon Princess!"

Kaworu bit his lip at that call-out. It was because of that bitch, that he had to deal with all this shit when he was perfectly happy with stalking his boyfriend. "What do you want, Asuka?"

"So you found a new hobby besides being fucked by an idiot."

"I was about to throw the camera away though. It's not my thing."

Asuka snorted before snatching the camera from his hands. "I'll take it then."

Kaworu grinned evilly. "Go right ahead."

After escaping what would soon become Asuka's wrath, he hid inside a random clubroom.

"Hey, Kaworu!" The angel turned to see Hikari holding a random piece of fabric. "I didn't know that you were interested in fashion!"

"Well he IS gay, Hikari." said one of the other members. "Also, he dresses better than all the boys here. Those shoes are pure fire!"

Kaworu looked down at his feet. He was wearing purple high-tops with green laces. He bought them because they were the same colours as Shinji's EVA. He didn't find them particularly fashionable though. "Thanks?"

Hikari grabbed Kaworu and threw a roll of white fabric and a needle and thread at him. "Try to make something!"

Kaworu nodded before clapping his hands. Almost on command, the fabric floated into the air and unrolled itself. Several pair of scissors then followed suit and went to cut the fabric and finally needles, thread and lace zoomed around, attaching the pieces of fabric and shaped it into a wedding dress. It then dropped into his hands after doing a twirl to show itself off. Kaworu held the dress out to inspect it. It had a long train, long cold shoulder sleeves and a lace up back. "It's not perfect."

"Not perfect?!" Hikari shouted. "You made a wedding dress in midair! That surpasses perfect!"

Kaworu snapped his fingers, causing the dress to darken to a pale gold. "Much better. Shinji's not a virgin." He turned to the door.

"Wait! We need you here."

"Fashion is very boring. I'll just send you my clones. Cheaper than human workers and lower maintenance." He left the room, taking the freshly sewn dress he'd made for Shinji with him.

"Wow! That looks expensive!"

Kaworu turned to see Mari staring at the garment in his hand. "Thanks, it's for Shinji-kun. I'm looking for a new hobby. Do you have any suggestions?"

Mari lit up. "What about anime?"

Kaworu shrugged his shoulders, showing indifference. Mari grabbed his arm and dragged him to her clubroom. It was decorated with figures, posters and various sorts of otaku merchandise. She picked up a small leaflet. "Here, these are all the new anime this season and- Wow! You can draw?!"

Kaworu stopped to look at the paper he'd absentmindedly drew on. It was a drawing of an angry Asuka kicking a pained Shinji in the balls. It wasn't that he would wish such a thing on him, but the idea of it amused him. "Yeah, I do it when I'm bored."

"And do you enjoy drawing?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

Mari smirked. "I think that I found a hobby for you..."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoyed reading this. I had a lot of fun writing the characters and their potential interests. I hope Asuka gets good use of that camera.
> 
> Also I'm going to try to draw Aquatic!Kaworu one day.


End file.
